You know it ain't right to do me like you do.

  I'll go into this in more detail in tomorrow's News, but this is a big deal. Derek Chauvin was found guilty of all three counts against him today. It shocked the shit out of not only him but I think most of us. The jury went into deliberations yesterday and by 2 p.m. it was announced they'd come to a verdict.

 I'm no expert, of course, but I really don't think there's a hard and fast rule about how fast a jury comes back from deliberation and how the verdict will play out. Personally, I wasn't sanguine about things. I watched most of the trial and really couldn't see a way anyone could've come to any verdict besides guilty. 

 This is America, however, and we are as a culture still somewhat in love with authoritarian rule. Racism plays into it, no doubt, but I really think it's all connected. You rarely see a stone racist who isn't down with society being set up in such a way that Certain People are kept in their proper place, even if violently so. This is why Donald Trump won and why there was such outrage on the right for Major League Baseball's decision to pull out of Atlanta for the All-Star Game due to the new and unnecessary voting restrictions.

 There is a serious meltdown going on in the Wingnut World and while it may sound petty, I'm here for it. A more miserable bunch of jackanapes and poltroons I've never seen, and anything that causes them misery is worthy of at least a chuckle. Again, they're horny for authoritarianism and it's good they're disappointed. Hopefully, the stress will give them constipation and days of discomfort.

 I've been thinking about the prosecution presenting its initial case, particularly the first few witnesses. They were at the scene and actively involved in the whole thing. Particularly the first young man, who was the one who thought the twenty George Floyd gave him might be counterfeit. He was made to chase Floyd down, and he broke down on the stand out of guilt for kicking the whole thing in gear. It wasn't his fault but he felt guilty, and I hope out of everyone involved he's got some peace.

 Sentencing will happen come June barring any appeals, I don't know how that works, but that's for another time. Moving on, the weather continues to be great but it's supposed to get cold and rainy before the Sun comes back around. I bought another damn harmonica today, a Fender Blues DeVille in G. It's a sickness. I've been pretty pleased with the Fender Blues harp so far and the DeVille has gotten good marks. Plus, it looks cool, plastic comb notwithstanding. I'm losing that prejudice anyway, as plastic comb technology has come a long way since I last worried about it.

 I do wish I could remember which harmonica I had that came in a red case. Special 20 maybe? I don't remember owning a Special 20, but I can't for the life of me think what else I had back then beyond the Marine Band and the Blues Harp. I'm starting to catch up to my old chops and, in some places, surpassing them. I never really "got" tongue-blocking techniques, but I think I'm getting it. I'm not sure if I'm bending properly, though. I keep reading it's tough to do, but it's one of the techniques I haven't lost. Sounds good enough, anyway.

 While I don't regret it too much, I am sort of bummed at myself for staying away so long. Athens wasn't a blues town and I'm no band leader. Frankly, apart from Neal Pattman, I don't think I ever saw anyone play a harmonica except maybe on a rack, Dylan-style. I didn't hear much harp in New Orleans, either, apart from Grandpa Elliot, but by the time I moved out of the Quarter, I had no interest in live music anyway.

 Still, I probably could've put more effort into any of it and zigged instead of zagged, but if that ain't the story of my life, I don't know what is. My whole travel has been choosing one path or another, and I don't think I ever really chose poorly, but I can't help but wonder. Back in 1998, I was offered a job with a company that built stages and sound systems for outdoor concerts. It'd mean I could've traveled around the country but also require moving to Minnesota. I could've got a free ride to Southern Miss but chose to go to the University of Florida. I could've moved to New Orleans rather than Athens in 1999.

 I don't regret anything but I would sometimes be interested in seeing how things would've turned out otherwise. But there you go.

Take a little trip with me.

  It's the first of April. I never have cared for April Fool's Day mainly because most folks are neither all that funny nor all that clever. I've only seen a couple of April Fool's tweets today and they've been blatantly obvious. I guess living in the bizarre reality that has been the last four years has sapped most people's tolerance for bullshit.

 The Derek Chauvin case is going into its fourth day. Here's a pretty good Twitter feed called Unicorn Riot that's been following the trial. The defense's strategy seems to be not only painting George Floyd as a danger but also that the cops were being threatened by the cops. It's going to be interesting to see what the defense brings because the prosecution is eating them up. A former supervisor of Chauvin has said he went too far.

 Another... interesting take on it is how guilty the witnesses all seem to feel over it, as if they're blaming themselves for Floyd's death. Particularly the young man who originally thought he passed a fake twenty. He was hard to listen to, bless his heart, and it goes a long way in explaining why this sort of thing keeps happening, why police brutality is so commonplace.

 You'll see these arguments online where people who support police brutality and inevitably someone will ask them, "Well, what if it happens to you or someone you love?" Once they get over the claim they'd never do something like that, the pro folks always say something along the line of, "Well, I/they probably deserve it." Think about that. Our culture has this worship of authority so ingrained that we think we deserve to have punitive measures used against us whenever said authority deems it necessary. 

 That's something about our culture we maybe should think about. It doesn't remove or explain away the racial aspect of police brutality or the other aspects of White Supremecy that, but I definitely think it has a structural component to this all-American comment of daily life. Same thing with yet another mass shooting. We for some reason think we deserve like this or, at least, it's a reasonable sacrifice. It should also be noted that the same people who think the cops are justified with what they do are the same ones who lose their shit when they get a ticket for parking in a handicapped spot. Go figure.

 Moving on, we've all had to consider Matt Gaetz's "oh-face" way too much this week. It's come out that he's given to show nude pictures and videos of his sexual conquests to others, even fellow Congress critters while on the floor of the House of Representatives. That's just creepy and gross. I mean, that'd be creepy and gross if he was 21, but for a member of the U.S. legislative body, it's almost beyond the pale. Even if the sexual trafficking of minors charge is bogus, he ought to be bounced just for that. For cryin' out loud, man, try not to act so much like the privileged frat boy douchebag you so obviously are.

 And that's about that. It's been cold but an otherwise lovely day and we finally got high-speed fiber-optic internet. It is nice to rejoin the 21st century. I've been buying more harmonicas, including a PowerDraw harp that I'm extremely looking forward to messing with. Maybe after my birthday, I'll buy myself one of these Lucky 13 harps that are tuned for bass playing.

 I'm having a lot of fun relearning harmonica and guitar. Maybe the best thing about learning or relearning anything - from a musical instrument to a sport to something like painting - is when a hurdle or a block that's been hanging you up and frustrating your progress just melts away. You figure it out and it becomes second nature. It's like discovering you have a super power.

I might live a thousand years before I know what that means.

 Running late today, my apologies. I stayed up fairly late last night doing my Actual Paying Work and, of course, defending humanity from alien invasions. Overslept this morning, and by the time I was done editing and brushing up the APW to send it to the Chief, it was past 3 p.m. I wasn't feeling my sharpest, so I decided to take a nap and here we are.

 Anyhow. I've been keeping an interested eye on these "autonomous zones" that have popped up around the country in the wake of the nation-wide protests against police brutality. Of course, there's the first well-organized one in Seattle, and because there was a mass walkout of police in Atlanta to protest that one guy getting fired and charged with murder for shooting Rayshard Brooks in the back as he was running away. I'm not sure if that counts, though. One was started on the northwest side of Portland yesterday evening but apparently the cops shut it down fairly quickly. It was set up outside the mayor's house, apparently, so it makes sense the law would be Johnny-On-The-Spot there. One's trying to kick up at the Capitol Square in Nashville - which the protesters have renamed "Ida B. Wells Square" - but the Tennessee governor's giving dire forecasts should it become a permanent thing.

 It should be noted a lot of this revolves around how the cops are reacting to the protesters. In Portland, for example, they cut that to the quick, while the thing in Seattle is flourishing basically because the local precinct emptied out the first day. No cops, no worries. In Atlanta, it's more a case of the "blue flu" by petulant po-pop even though Garrett Rolfe has turned himself in. They're not protesting or walking out on the job so much as a bunch of them all turned up sick this morning, amazingly enough. Given one of the issues the protesters have is the out-of-control militarization of the police that's both dangerous to the people and police while being more or less useless for dealing with crime, if Seattle or anyone really wanted to wipe folks out, they could.

 And that's part of the problem, really. Full disclosure, I've never had any real problem with the police. When I was 18, I was detained for four hours because a cop thought I was a guy selling drugs at a popular teen hangout area in Tupelo. Once in New Orleans I was pulled over because I was on the Westbank after midnight giving a black co-worker a ride home, and apparently that's suspicious behavior there. I was shocked, my co-worker and boss (who I had to call for the cop to believe us) were not. More naive me.

 The handful of times I called the police for assistance, I got the distinct impression they resented me cutting into their donut time. Granted, nothing I called for was all that interesting. A broken window or a stolen tag, little stuff like that, and the only reason I called was to have the official paperwork to deal with insurance. Nevertheless, every episode ended with me feeling like they thought me expecting them to do their job was a bit presumptuous. Beyond that, I've got a cousin who used to be a cop and I've had pleasant evenings hanging out and drinking with cops. I wouldn't call any of them "friends," but there you go.

So, I'm fairly ambivalent about cops and having them in general. I understand why some sort of order-keeping force might be useful in a large, varied society. I've generally gotten along with them when I've had to be around them for extended periods of time, but I generally get along with everyone. I've seen with my own two eyes cops abuse power and actively harass the black people they're supposed to be "protecting and serving". And I've spent enough time in the journalism trenches to hear all sorts of horror stories, some told by the cops themselves.

 I understand what the push to "defund the police" means and I don't know if it's an example of bad branding. That small-town police departments the size of Tupelo have twice the riot gear they have as cops as well as armored personnel carriers is ridiculous. This has been an issue since the '90s, as police budgets are often tied to how much they spend. If they don't spend all their allotted one year, they get less the next.

 And there is something in the whole "warrior" mentality we're seeing in police that desperately needs to be nipped in the bud. That they're using the Punisher's logo, despite Gerry Conway's objections, is worrisome. That they see the people they're supposed to be "protecting and serving" as "the enemy" is, well... we've seen how that works out. For me, I don't trust people are packing heat and that includes the fuzz. In my perfect world, most police work would consist of traffic control and keeping the flow of public moving smoothly, & dealing with crimes after the fact. That cops are sent on wellness checks or to deal with potentially suicidal individuals with no more training than they get - usually six weeks at most - is just not working.

 I don't have answers to fix the problem with out-of-control police brutality. I have told the aforementioned cousin that if the police want to repair relations with the community, especially the black part, stop treating black folks like criminals before the fact and especially stop shooting them whenever you feel the least bit threatened. You don't make yourself look better or trustworthy or worthy of respect when you amp up the behavior that got people protesting in the first place.

 But I'll tell you what most unnerves me about this whole deal. When reading about the Atlanta walkout or the autonomous zone in Seattle, I keep seeing conservatives gleeful at the idea of chaos raining down on the ungrateful city dwellers and actively hoping for a city in flames because it won't bend the knee to police violence. I don't believe either Seattle or Atlanta had a particular uptick in violence, but right-wingers are not only convinced  it's inevitable they're actively looking forward to it and encouraging it.

 The same people keep saying society is in danger of collapsing, but I got to say if this is the society they want, I'm fine with it collapsing. If you're cheering the idea of people being crushed under governmental heel because they don't agree that they should be subjugated and second class, you are the bad guy. Full stop.

Yeah, man.

 So, a little insight into how I handle the Actual Paying Work. Don't worry, this is relevant. The Bossman assigns me however many pieces for the month maybe the second week. Usually what I do is read the info he gives me, if any, and then do an hour or two of research on my own. Finally, writing then a quick once over read, followed by an edit then another the next morning.

 I used to be able to write stories for the newspaper for 10-12 hours in a row with rarely a break, but I can't do that anymore. Seriously, one 1,000-word piece does a number on me. It's part of the reason I've decided to do my fun writing in the morning. Anyhow, yesterday I had two pieces, and by the time I finished the first and took a break, the story about the possible poisoning of some NYPD officers at a Shake Shack was making the rounds. People - that is conservatives and other forms of authority worshipers - were calling for some poor working-class bastard's head on a pike. And usually, these are the "wait until all the info comes in before making a judgement" whenever a cop kills some black guy for shopping at Wal-Mart.

 By the time I got the second piece done, however - and it was barely midnight - it had come out that an "investigation" was done and, turns out, there was no malicious poisoning aforethought. Apparently, an improperly cleaned shake machine was the culprit. No charges were filed, no cops were poisoned, and no heads were cracked. I'm going to be very generous here and say this wasn't like the situation where the cop thought someone took a bite out of his burger but it turns out he just forgot he did. Nor am I comparing it to the cop who wrote "Pig" on his receipt and tried to blame it on the cashier. And I'm not going to compare it to the many times the police or law enforcement officials have been caught walking back claims or outright lying these last couple of weeks of protesting.

 Things are tense, especially in New York City and the fuzz there don't have the best record when dealing with the public or, for that matter, showing exceptional reasoning skills. It could have very well been an honest mistake and overzealous police, and we're all just lucky and thankful it didn't spiral out of control. Of course, the police could've been lying for whatever reason and trying to get back at Shake Shack for supporting Black Lives Matter. I'm not saying that's why, mind you. I'm just saying, hey... it's a possibility and one that makes more sense than a minimum-wage worker actively trying to poison a police officer in such a clumsy, easily traceable manner, particularly a cop from a police force known for indulging in a bit of the old extra violence from time to time. Let's face it, the burden of proof is always on New York's Finest and they have long since pissed away the benefit of the doubt.

 So the day was already Dumb before it got good and started. Apparently, the quality journalists at Fox News are still pushing the poisoning lie, though I doubt that comes as a surprise to anyone. I know I shouldn't be but I'm always a bit shocked at how blood-thirsty and prone to authority worship conservatives reveal themselves to be on Twitter. Sure, it's a lot of talk and as much hot air as not, but people do have a sense of freedom online to say stuff that'd get their jaws slapped in real life. More than a few are letting us into their head space, and it is not a pleasant place to be.

 I think I'm going to tie this off, finish up my APW, and call it a day. I've set up a Patreon if you feel inclined to toss me a few bucks. Hey, ya never know.

I feel a storm, all wet and warm, not ten miles away approaching my Mexican home.

 Getting a late start on this tonight. Or a normal one, depending on how you look at it. In any event, it's 9 p.m. and I need to get something in the can for today. Before we get on with the business, links to this week's News.

Monday

Wednesday

Friday

 I'm particularly pleased with Friday's effort. As a part of the general thing the country finds itself, in re: dealing with systematic racism, there's a serious movement in the Mississippi Legislature to remove the Confederate battle emblem from the state flag. I went into a little detail of why this is a big deal and why we're waiting until 2020 to make anything happen. A little history and a little background, that's what I'm here for.

 Wednesday was pretty good, too, as a look at the mess that was the Georgia primary vote and what it bodes for November. In short: nothing good as the GOP will use all at its means to decide the election. Monday was a fairly bog-standard wrap up of the weekend's events concerning the protests across the country in reaction to the murder of George Floyd, the growing discontent among some higher ranking Republicans with Trump's chances come November, and a little bit about Tropical Storm Cristobel, which thankfully turned out to be not much of nothing. A good piece for what it was, though.

 I've been keeping my eye on what's going on in Seattle, the "Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone" or "CHAZ". In all things, I recommend eschewing the national press and paying attention to the folks who actually live in a place that's in the news. I've long been a fan of indie magazines, having written for several, and The Stranger is considered one of the very best. Plus, they're keeping a solid look on what's going on without the bias and ignorance of some of the national publications.

 It seems folks in Nashville are trying to kick up a similar "autonomous zone" type thing, as well, despite dire warnings from Gov. Bill Lee. I don't know what he thinks he's going to do. I do believe that apart from the hard-core authoritarian types, any sort of government heavy handedness, from state or federal forces, doesn't go down as well as they think. It's interesting that a lot of the voices that have been screaming about government tyranny or Second Amendment rights - from the Bundy-types to the NRA - have been pretty quiet when the rubber is hitting the road. Undoubtedly, since this is happening mostly to black folks and left-leaning types, they're all of the sudden down to the ground with an authoritarian government ignoring basic civil rights.

 Anyhow, The Nashville Scene is a pretty good magazine, as well. Full disclosure, they paid me less than $50 for a story about someone, I think either Slobberbone or The Drive-By Truckers, nearly 20 years ago. As I said, I've always preferred those sort of magazines and have worked for a couple in the past. They never pay well or, indeed, enough to live on - this is indie journalism, after all - but it's always much more fun.

 Me and Momma had a fairly heavy conversation about all this and what it implies the other night. My mother is a very intelligent woman, but she is - by her own admittance - happily provincial and a bit naive about how the world outside Itawamba County actually is. She's also old fashioned and conservative. What I'm saying is she will listen but you have to take a hammer to her if you ever want to get anything through.

 Plus, while she understands what I mean when I tell her about being an atheist who leans towards far-left anarchism, she really doesn't like those stances. I think I got it through to her why this autonomous zone business wasn't the popular perception of anarchy but rather the political connotation of anarchism. That is, a rejection of unearned authoritarian groups as someone automatically obeyed. If your "leadership" fails to the extent that it did the folks in Capitol Hill, or so they consider, feel they're justified in telling them to piss off and taking it over on their own.

 If I get Sarah Thompson to understand that anarchism is a viable political ideology, I'll consider this a life well lived. Anyhow, that's plenty. I intend to keep the weekly stuff done in the morning (or as close to morning as I get) but anything goes for the weekend. In the meantime, keep safe, wash your hands, maintain social distancing, and don't let the bastards grind you down.

If looks could kill, it would be us instead of him.

 Ugh. I should've written this last night. I had fire and vinegar last night, when today's just a bunch of sludge. Unfortunately, I stayed up too late getting some Actual Paying Work and rescuing humanity from the boot heel of genocidal alien invaders, and here we are.

 And though I need my nap, we're going to try to squeeze this out, if truncated. I have some more APW to get done before tomorrow, and I'm still trying this morning thing. Even though it's almost three in the afternoon.

 Anyhow. There is definitely something in the air right now. As a Twitter mutual said, we appear to be in the middle of a thing. HBOMax pulled Gone With the Wind from its streaming service after a letter from 12 Years A Slave screenwriter John Ridley. NASCAR announced the Confederate Flag will no longer be allowed at its races and events. Country trio Lady Antebellum changed its name to "Lady A", admitting the connotations of the old name were, at the very least, in very poor taste.

 All of this seems to be fairly organic. Ridley's letter was less an "outcry" and more of "hey, notice this and think about it". Of course, conservatives are losing their minds over all of this, all of which seems to be decisions made by the corporations or individuals. They're less interested in "cultural sensitivity" and more interested in "not hurting our continuing profit" from what I can tell.

 I'm going to be honest, I really don't believe most if any of the clowns rending their garments over the GWTW business have given the movie that much thought before yesterday's announcement. Frankly, I doubt many of them have ever sat through the thing, and they're knowledge is all pop culture references and memes. I refuse to believe any of them read the original novel by Margaret Mitchell.

 This isn't the place to critique the quality or cultural importance of the movie or the book. Personally, I think it's overrated and benefited greatly from the circumstances in Hollywood at the time. Nor is it necessary to discuss whether it has racism in it. It does. It's a movie that glamorizes the "Lost Cause" and Antebellum South, of course it has racism in it. You dopes.

 But what is worth discussing is whether or not this counts as "censorship," and I really don't understand how it does. The individuals made this decision, motivated solely by profit. The government didn't force them to, nor was the pressure from outside forces really all that great. This is something HBOMax decided was best for their bottom line, and if you think entertainment entities care about anything but their bottom line, then there's nothing I can do for you.

 HBOMax, NASCAR, Lady A, and whoever else made these decisions because they know which way the wind's blowing. We're in our second week of protests sparked by George Floyd's murder by Minneapolis police. The anger, frustration and desire for change in our culture has grown. The oppression of black people by the white status quo is still and should remain the key focal point. But we can't ignore what else there is, such as displeasure at the authoritarian nature of society and how we're supposed to be thankful that the cops are told to treat us like the enemy. You don't have to be black to see that's a problem.

 And why is there so much pushback from conservatives? Do they care that much about GWTW, art or even "free speech". I don't believe they do, not really. They don't care about the movie or even the Confederate Flag. They don't care about art. They don't even care about "free speech" or "freedom of expression." Not really. If anything's "performative," it's that.

 What they care about is that society is evolving past a point where their opinion was the only one that mattered. They're angry that corporations and businesses are recognizing it makes them more money to change than keep the status quo. They're furious that no one cares if they're angry because, frankly, it really does not matter how angry they are or even if they're angry.

 Americans don't like change. Americans don't really care for admitting that other views matter as much as theirs. But what Americans really, really hate is being told something that makes them consider even the slightest possibility that they might have been - might, just the chance of it existing - wrong.

 As my brother said, "'Am I right or am I right' is the most American thought ever." But the times, they are a-changin'. That's what times do, and no culture stands unmoving like a beetle in amber. If you can come along at least stop trying to make other people change.

If the wife and I are fussin', brother, that's our right. 'Cause me and that sweet woman bought a license to fight.

 I'm really not into this. Today's one of those days where everything shut down. I'm not sure why. I let Otis out for his morning ablutions and had to go lay back down. Next thing I knew it was two in the afternoon. I didn't even stay up late (for me) last night.

 I really don't understand it. While the rest of the world's going crazier, it's been a pretty chill week for me. Speaking of which, we might as well get the links to this week's News in place.

Monday

Wednesday

Friday

 Most of this revolves around the murder by Minneapolis police officers of George Floyd and the resulting protests that have spread to all 50 states in the nation, as well as several countries. Friday we look into Mississippi's own legal outrage, as the case against the cop that killed Columbus resident Ricky Ball under extremely suspicious circumstances - po-po, when you cut your body cameras off, it never looks good - was dropped by newly elected State Attorney General Lynn Fitch. The story's pretty bad, mainly in that Fitch dismissed the case with a two-sentence statement like it was barely worth her attention. Something to keep an eye on for sure.

 I finished the first three books of the Expanse series the Lee County library had to offer online readers. I liked them but I doubt I'll get back into it anytime soon. While the hard sci-fi aspect and non-military setting appealed, every story was some sort of solar system-wide big deal and that gets tedious for me after a while. It's sort of like the new Doctor Who where each season ended with some massive universe-spanning to-do that only the Doctor could fix or, actually, like the never ending "Secret Crisis War" that seems to be the go to for mainstream comic books these days.

 I'd still like to find some science fiction books that are sort of like Blake's 7, small outlaw groups just trying to get through the universe but not having to save it. Probably means I should be writing those stories, if you consider things that way. Like I've said, I still can't get my head in that space and really don't understand how to get there. I write and this is what I do. News and Gibberish, and I think I'm better than okay at it. Other people are good at ripping science fiction swashbuckling yarns, that's what I want.

 I have been reading Engraved On The Eye, a collection of short stories by Saladin Ahmed. Very enjoyable, and all told from what I gather is a Muslim or at least Middle Eastern perspective. Fighters of monsters using holy magic. Muslim cowboy wizards. Renegade female Dervishes fighting against small minds. Good stuff. In fact, I'm enjoying the tales so much that my only real complaint is they're all too short. His 2012 book Throne of the Crescent Moon won a Hugo and appears to be the same universe as the first short story (monster fighting Muslim doctor who uses holy magic and has a young Dervish as a partner), so I'll check that out eventually.

 He came across my radar because the nerds who get upset about such things were mad that a Muslim person of color was writing a Spider-Man book. That piqued my interest, in that anything that pisses those choads off has to have something going for it. So, good job, buttholes, you're racist gatekeeping wankery turned me on to an excellent writer I was henceforth unaware of and encouraged me, a middle-age middle-class white dude, to give him some money and, indeed, encourage others to do so as well as post multiple links to facilitate that. Well done, indeed, you miserable little fart stains.

 I don't know what else. My uncle's in the hospital getting a new stint put in his heart and his oldest grandson got married today. Because of him in the hospital and the whole COVID-19 business, they did it via Zoom. My uncle's doing well and the grandson is happier than he has been lately. He's had a string of bad breaks of late, bless his heart, and even a good kid like him will get frustrated. But his new bride is a jewel and, like I said, he's a good kid, so hopefully things will start to shine a bit for him.

 We could all use a break these days, I think. Just a little good news or a world-wide equivalent to winning 50 bucks in an office football pool. Something that doesn't involve killing someone.

I believe, I believe my time ain't long.

 I'm getting really bad about getting these out before 8 p.m. Part of it's the onset of summer. If me and my buddy Otis, the Jack Russell, are going to take our afternoon constitutionals, it makes sense to wait until around 6 p.m. so it cools off some. That means my nap gets pushed back and supper gets pushed back, so it's past 8 p.m. by the time I get good and sat down.

 I've been kicking around the idea of putting something out in the morning, sort of a "things to know today" type of deal. I'm a night owl by inclination and really don't keep a set schedule. It makes as much sense as doing a daily wrap up, I suppose. It'll all have to wait until I get a little more energy to do anything but read and sleep and occasionally play XCOM, of course.

 I've been curiously detached the last couple of days, at least since the middle of last week. A lot of it is, no doubt, the fallout from the George Floyd protests. I shouldn't be as let down as I am by so many of Our Fellow Americans chomping at the bit to unleash full-metal jacket hell at the untermensch because they've never pretended to be anything other than what they are. Nevertheless, it always depresses me a bit the amount of joy people seem to take out of hate.

 They were fairly quiet in the beginning. I guess the cop's murder of Floyd was so blatant they couldn't pretend it was business as usual like the could with most of the rest. Now, they're screaming for blood and believing every half-ass fake tweet from some limp white nationalist pretending to be AntiFa gearing up to storm the suburbs. They claim they're protecting themselves from rioters, but they're lying. White supremacy is so built into the American consciousness that these people equate being against it as being against America.

 And who knows? Maybe they're right. This is a country built of slavery and Native genocide, on Chinese exclusion acts and Irish need not apply. Hell, we call marijuana "marijuana" because it elicits visions of scary Chicanos in zoot suits and low riders. Even our myth of the cowboy goes out of its way to ignore anyone who wasn't a white guy being a cowboy. As soon as we could make rock & roll white and white only, we did.

 I really don't know what to do. Besides this, I mean, and this seems so... nothing. People have asked me for the past two decades, "Matt, you grew up in one of the most redneck counties in the most redneck region of the most redneck state in the country, a place almost synonymous with 'racial violence'. How did you become such a bleeding heart, left wing type instead of a full-on Republican?"

 The answer is I really honestly don't know. I mean, I'm not perfect and had to learn a helluva lot once I left Mississippi, but even before I wasn't quite as far gone as most of my peers. I remember multiple classmates talking about the Sins of Ham and I always thought that was off. I never did get why I was supposed to hate Jews or homosexuals when I'd never interacted with any. Of course, years later, some folks came out as gay or lesbian, but that's neither here nor there.

 If it's anything, it's one of two things. One, actually believing the stuff my elders told me instead of treating it as pretty words. "How would you think Mrs. Ferguson would feel if she heard you saying that word?" "Treat people with respect no matter what." That sort of thing. The other thing was probably because Momma coached basketball, had black players, and back when Daddy drank too much to be left alone with, I spent a whole lot of time around those girls. People are people, and I've thought that from the beginning.

 It doesn't mean I haven't said things or acted in ways that were racist. I'm a white man in a racist society. Furthermore, I'm a Southerner and this whole "Lost Cause" business is mainly we're pissed off at having to treat black people like humans and/or getting all the grief when the rest of the country is full of ghettos and barrios and sundown towns that White America seems as normal and just.

 Soldiers are being sent to deal with protesters with fixed bayonets. I don't know why that's shaking me so much after everything else that's happened in the past week, but damn, that is unsettling. The DEA has been authorized to conduct secret surveillance on protesters. That ain't right. The military is telling us we're the enemy. That ain't right.

 If people think the military won't fire on them, they are living in dreamland. There's been stories of National Guardsmen having trouble "policing" the protesters because they generally work close to their home. When the actual by-God Army gets sent in to quell the "looters" it will get bloody quick and they won't hesitate. And Middle America will cheer like when Osama bin Laden was killed.

 Trump's base won't be shaken loose by anything he does.They love the idea of protesters, especially black ones, being shot dead in the street by American Might. If he gets re-elected, well... this experiment in government will be shown to be a failure.

 I don't know. It's hard to gauge things way out here in the boonies. The people I trust who are out there in it, I believe them way before I'd believe some knuckle-dragging Trump supporter or even a garden variety conservative, much less the corporate press. Hopefully - hopefully - something positive can come out of all this, if just to put the people that put Trump in the White House on notice that the bullshit is up. It's been a long time coming, but is a change going to come soon?

 Let's hope so. It doesn't have to be this way. There's enough for everyone to live a good life, have a good time, and be nice to each other with plenty left over. We just don't want to. We want there to be a clear delineation between who's worth life and who isn't.

Four decades of asking why and I still don't have anything close to an answer.

Please don't tell me how the story ends.

 I don't know, man. I just don't know. It's going to be a long summer, I think.

 So, the protests that started in Minneapolis over the murder by police of George Floyd for spending a possibly fake $20 bill in a grocery store have spread across the country. Atlanta, Los Angeles, Memphis, Seattle, Louisville, Houston, hell, even Tupelo. They've gone as far and wide as Toronto, London and Berlin. That's right, our embarrassment of a law enforcement system is a world-wide shame.

 Before we get too deep into it, links from the News of the week:

Monday

Wednesday

Friday

 Monday is basically catching up after a rough personal weekend, and Wednesday's talking about how Bill Barr's Department of Justice is letting insider trader and Republican Senator Kelly Loeffler off the hook. Turns out having your husband - CEO of the New York Stock Exchange - make a million dollar contribution to the President's Super PAC goes a long, long way in the interest of justice. Imagine that.

 Friday, well... I don't want to say I'm proud of it, but I do think it's a good piece. It's about the details of the Floyd murder and how the protests are becoming what they are. I didn't like having to write it, but here we are. Still, whatever it is I do, it's a primo example of it.

 That all being said, the protests have definitely changed. I don't know if it's a natural evolution or if they've been hijacked by people and groups (organized or otherwise) who're taking advantage of the confusion and anger of Black America at yet another murder of another black person by the police to advance different agendas.

 All of that sounds bad. Maybe it is, I don't know. Anti-rent groups, anti-government groups, anarchist black bloc folks, those "Boogaloo" goobers, Proud Boys, soi-disant socialists, radicals of every stripe, and people who just like to see the things burned have been accused - credibly in some cases, others not so much - of escalating the protests into riots by giving the cops a reason to turn violent. And then there are credible accusations of the police meeting peaceful protests with pepper spray and batons right out of the gate. There's been plenty of accusations of cops doing some "agent provocateur" business, and in some cases, the cops' attempts to deny it have come off... well, let's just say they're not due the benefit of the doubt and leave it at that.

 Me, I don't know. Here on my hill in Peaceful Valley, 15 miles from the nearest gas station, it's hard to tell. I am a little surprised Tupelo held a rally, but the Lee County police's reputation with the Lee County African American population is spotty to say the least. This is Mississippi, after all, and old times here are not forgotten at all. I don't really do protests anymore, mainly because my social anxiety doesn't want to be around a large group of people having a good time, much less one telling the Man to eat shit and daring him to do something about it.

 I'm not proud of it, but there you go. I do what I can, even if it's just acting as a chronicler of the times. Something is in the air, though. I mentioned the "Boogaloo" thing earlier. From what I understood, it was an outgrowth of the whole Pepe/groyper/kekistan balderdash of disaffected right-wing white kids from the suburbs who think not getting laid because they have a lot of guns is enough to wage another Civil War.

 However, according to this elucidating thread by J.J. MacNab of George Washington University, it isn't that black and white. McNab studies anti-government extremism and has shown herself to not only be a reliable source of information but also one of the more insightful chroniclers of the world of sovereign citizens, anti-tax protesters and other assorted pissed off white dudes. Some Boogaloos support the police, some detest them. Some support the military, some detest it. Some support Trump, some loathe him. Some are explicitly white supremacist, some are explicitly racist. Age, economic status, race, all of that is secondary to an anger and resentment that's looking for an outlet. It's as varied and lacking in coherent ideology as anarchism is. Some explicitly call for violence, while some merely warn that it's inevitable.

 Me, I don't know. I will never understand why we all can't just be nice to each other and have a good time. Corporate America doesn't have to be a soulless, empty hole of mendacity and greed, and the government doesn't have to be crooked, small and greedy. The masters of the internet don't have to be craven bootlickers to power who sell their soul for 30 pieces of silver and stock options. The cops don't have to be violent and thuggish, and the military doesn't have to bully the rest of the world at the behest of business interests. We don't have to screw each other over and horde all we can just to survive or, if not that, feel worthy of respect and admiration.

 I've said before that as much interest as I have in anarchism, I've never really felt welcome by any of the various strains of thought. Being a weird old writer on a hill suits me more, in that if no one wants me around, I'm fine by myself. Maybe it isn't that drastic, but I'm too tired to care and have too much fun doing what I do to risk screwing it up. Part of me wishes I could be in the thick of things, as I wonder if this is how the air smelled in the late '60s in places like Chicago and Berkeley. Only now, you don't have to actually be in those cities to be a part of the ride. The wonders of modern technology have put us all on the front lines if we want to be there.

 Again, I don't know, man. It's all too big for me. And on top of that, we're still seeing an unchecked, raging epidemic that's killed 100,000 people and shows no signs of slowing down. Be nice to each other. Have a good time but not if it comes at the expense of someone else's enjoyment of life. Don't trust the government, the cops or even the media. Trust yourself and be able to make decisions.

 Above all, get a helmet and buckle in, neighbors. It's going to be a bumpy ride in this long, hot summer.

I don't need no proof, 'cause that's the truth, and I'll drink to that.

 Man, it has been a day, hasn't it? Protests and riots across the country, the president trying to bring the government hammer down on a private company because his feelings are hurt, and the sneaking suspicion that "reopening the country" this soon wasn't a great idea. One upside is the forces of old and evil are sounding dumber than shit in trying to defend what obviously isn't going to work anymore.

 I really don't know where to start. Momma and I had a rather heavy discussion about the George Floyd murder and the resulting chaos that's popped up as a result. Make no mistake, Momma is Mississippi through and through, and one thing about Mississippi is this state digs on some authority. Look at that walking thumb that's the mayor of Petal for another example. Regardless, she's heartsick over this man's murder and understands the rage and anger behind the rioters. She doesn't understand why they would destroy businesses that employ them, but she also doesn't grok that most of those businesses don't pay them enough to live on anyway.

 What she had problems with, however, was my stance that the cops in general don't deserve the benefit of the doubt, and I won't budge on that. They do not. They've spent the last 20 years militarizing and deciding we were the enemy, telling us their safety is more important than our lives, and claiming that they don't even need to know the law. All body cameras and social media has done up until now is show how guilty they are and how little they care about how their actions affect the communities they're supposed to "protect and serve," especially when those communities are black.

 For me, it's like that old Chris Rock bit. I ain't saying people burning down a Target is right. I'm just saying I understand where that anger and frustration is coming from. If nothing else - nothing else - the recent COVID-19 business should have shown us that, without any sort of doubt, the Powers That Be do not care if the people that make their wealth live or die, nor do they care how healthy or happy those folks are. Target pays starvation wages and the owners are billionaires many times over. If the people in that community thought it was worth something, maybe they wouldn't have pulled it down.

 I do think there's something different about this one, especially coming so soon after the egregious subverting of the law we're supposed to follow in the Ahmaud Arbery and Breonna Taylor situations. In both cases, the murders were ignored by the legal establishment of the respective areas, almost to the point where they condoned it. Both took months of screaming in the faces of authority to make anyone even look ashamed. This one, well... the guy having his hands in his pockets while kneeling on Floyd's neck as someone filmed him, he had to know that wouldn't go well.

 Protests are popping up all over the country. Someone in Denver actively tried to run some dude over, and people on Twitter are trying to defend it. I do wonder, however, if we're not seeing how the whole "Twitter isn't real life" thing plays out. The mayor of Petal got his ass nailed to the wall by his townsfolk and trying to claim they're all AntiFa. Y'all, there is no AntiFa in a Mississippi town of 10,000. There just isn't.

 Maybe a little more ambiguous is this bit about Trump trying to use government muscle to censor Twitter because they had the audacity to add a link to one of his wacky claims. They didn't even fact check him, much less censor him. They added a link that said "for more information". It was the very least they could do, and he throws the biggest fit we've seen yet. A hundred thousand dead, 40 million on unemployment, and he doesn't budge. Twitter doesn't kiss his ass and he's ready to rain down hell.

 The conservative argument is, apparently, that Twitter shouldn't be considered a publisher rather than a platform and what they did was censorship. The latter argument is obviously stupid and silly, nothing more than another example of Trump's persecution complex and the reason conservatives worship the ground he walks on. The former, though, I wonder.

 I really don't see Twitter as a publisher any more than the telephone line is. It is true, however, that technology has moved too fast for the law to keep up on this note and there are serious questions to be asked. That being said, since the death of Net Neutrality - another thing conservatives have a boner for - it was probably inevitable that things were headed this way. Above all else, Twitter is a profit-oriented business, and anyone who's trying to assign noble intentions to it is whistling Dixie writ large.

 One of the running tropes of cyberpunk is that in a world where corporations control all government, official press and whatall, there's always an underground sort of internet that's For The People. What a lot of science fiction writers never assumed, though, was that the Harvard-educated trust fund squirts who have the cash to develop this sort of technology would be interested in anything but getting their hands on more filthy lucre.

 You'd think after watching Bill Gates for the past 40 years, we'd learn. But no, that's not how it works. Here we are.