When the cats away, you know the mice are gonna play.

  I will get to it eventually. Whatever ennui's sitting on my head is still in full effect. Ask me if I give a damn. I do not.

 Anyhow. This week's News. Another good week, if I do say so myself. Monday we explored why the Carl Nassib business is so important, and Wednesday we looked at the blatantly anti-First Amendment actions of Florida's part-time Governor Ron DeSantis. I have no idea why this isn't getting so much as a whiff from the "free speech" warriors who continually worry about what's being said on college campuses, but there you go. Friday we stayed in Florida for the horrific events at the collapsed condo in Miami, plus murdering cop Derek Chauvin's well-deserved jail sentence.

 Far as I know, over 150 people are still missing, presumed dead, and officials are gathering DNA samples from relatives to help in identifying corpses. If this happened anywhere else, we'd be shocked. But like the Grenfell Tower fire in London, we just accept it as a price of capitalism. There were reports that it had some structural issues and lawsuits over the matter settled out of court. Perhaps so, but regardless of the cause, unless one of the appointed Emmanuel Goldsteins is found to be directly responsible, we won't really worry about it.

 Much like the issue with mass shootings, that's just life in these United States. Just something we have to accept as part of the whole "freedom" deal. Welcome to America, land of the free.

 On a different note, the Peacock streaming service has 10 seasons worth of "Columbo" ready for streaming. Apart from "Barney Miller," "Columbo" is the only cop show I really like. Most cop shows are, in some form or fashion, propaganda for authoritarianism. Especially "Law & Order," it's definitely all about not questioning The Man, not ever. While "Barney Miller" makes cops human and the business of policing just another public service, Columbo always goes after the wealthy and powerful, people who think they're above the reach of the law. You got to love that, man.

 I'm sure there are others but I can't think of them. Another thing that makes Columbo neat is he knows who the murderer is, every time. My personal theory is that Columbo is an Erinyes, one of the Greek chthonic deities of vengeance. See, back then, the worst sin someone could commit was hubris, the sin of pride. Hubris meant you held yourself above the gods and they didn't like that one bit.

 An Erinyes would be sent out after them and they'd chase the guilty to the ends of the Earth. Ancient Greek myth usually had them as three sisters and the personifications of vengeful destruction, jealous rage, and endless anger. Of course, Columbo's much more laid back and you rarely saw him lose his temper. So he's a mellow Erinyes. Why is he male? Well, who'd have an easier time in 1970s L.A., a man or a woman?

 It's definitely one of those shows that should never be remade. Peter Faulk is too tied into the character. When you got a show like that, it never works. You saw the remakes of "Kolchak: The Night Stalker" or "The Prisoner?" They were awful, particularly the latter. I don't think I made it through an episode of that without nodding off.

Ain't a pity. Ain't it a cryin' shame.

  I really need to quit sleeping as much as I do. Wake up, eat something, read a little bit, walk around outside for a bit, go back to sleep. Rinse and repeat, maybe throw some video game time or harmonica time or, occasionally, movie time, but otherwise, rinse and repeat. It's not healthy, especially at my age, neither mentally nor physically.

 But honestly, it's all I want to do. Again I'm going to punt the Hohner harmonica run down, but you get what you pay for. I've been getting into the Divinity: Original Sin games and I've made some headway into both, but I don't feel like writing about either. They're good, you know this. I've been re-reading a lot of Hunter Thompson instead of anything else because he's fun to read.

 I don't know why this is, but it is. I'm not in a great mood but what the hell, you know? I'm always, even at my best, slightly irritated about something, whether personal or beyond my grasp. I've learned to live with it. People are giving this more attention, but I still don't understand why people's hairs aren't on fire. The state of Florida is actively threatening teachers and students if they don't show proper ideology.

 But no, it's just that wacky Ron DeSantis and his kooky right-wing buddies doing their thing. You almost have to expect it, I'm told. Just because the grubby little punk doesn't pretend to be anything but a cut-rate fascist bully boy because that's what the barking dingbats want. Have you seen the video of "concerned parents" losing their minds at school board meetings over what they think Critical Race Theory is? These are the same people who wouldn't go to a meeting to discuss funding for after-school activities or anti-bullying measures if you held them at gunpoint.

 Kids are great but the parents are invariably assholes.

 Well, enough of that. The midnight hour is sneaking up on me and, frankly, I'm most inclined to just go back to bed. Read a little bit, listen to some good music, and let it ride. I'm obsessed with harmonica music these days. I bet you've I've listened to the same Big Walter Horton collection a dozen times over in the past week. The man had a tone big as all outdoors.

 Fifteen minutes, a little over 115 words. Think, think, think, but the words don't come. When I have something to write about, it's no problem. There's no end to stomach-churning horseshit going on that fits "the News," like that collapsing apartment building in Miami. Goddamn Tucker Carlson asked if it was "intentional" because collapsing apartment buildings are something that happens in "third-world nations." Between this and the "anti-white mania," that people still pay attention to this evil little twit after he got his shit pushed in by friggin' Jon Stewart twenty years ago makes me despair for the republic.

 It's too hot and too humid. I hate Summer in the South. It's miserable here as it was miserable in New Orleans, North Georgia, and Central Florida. I need to figure out a way to spend June through September in Vermont or someplace like that. Stay in the South for the Spring and Fall and head out to the desert for Winter. I'm assuming it's nice in the desert during the Winter. I'm sure it's dryer, anyway.

 I ought to look into that.

Same old blues

  I don't want to write about anything. I don't know what's wrong or why, but I've got a bad case of the blues. It's so bad, apparently, that I can't really hide it. Momma's called me out on it, but thankfully she's just letting me be blue. Nothing's worse than Momma trying to help, bless her old heart.

 So, no rundown of the available Hohner harmonicas today, then. I know everyone's broken up. I'm tempted to say "the Blues Harp might be the best, but the Big River is pretty good for a cheaper harp," washing my hands of the whole thing. In any event, it's a possibility if I ever feel like writing for fun again.

 That's sort of what this has boiled down to in the last couple of weeks. Writing out of a sense of obligation rather than any sort of enjoyment. Only difference between now and when I quit way back when is I'm doing this for free. Amusingly, I'm not having the same problem with the News. I can generally come across some that, if not particularly interesting to me, is at least noteworthy enough that I feel it deserves an explanation as to why it's noteworthy.

 Another future potential is I've started getting into the groove with the Divinity: Original Sins games. I got them a while ago but could never get into them. Honestly, I was having difficulty in understand just why they're so popular among the CRPG crowd. I've played a decent way into the first one and I might give the second a try tonight if I don't go back to sleep.

 I've played the earlier Divinity games but only Divinity II grabbed me. I'm giving them another chance and I will admit, as far as Diablo clones go, Divine Divinity has something going for it other than an extremely silly name. Again, my biggest issue is that I have difficulty committing to a game long enough to beat it within a reasonable amount of time. How game reviewers do it, I'll never know.

 I'm also giving the Yakuza games another shot, specifically Yakuza Kiwami. I'm torn. When the gameplay actually happens, it's loads of fun. That block-and-punch mechanic a la the Arkham games never fails to delight. But it takes so long between punch ups, usually broken up by very serious people glaring at each other while the main character emotes like a sulky teenager. I'm told it gears up in the second half but, goddamn, I don't know if I can hang in that long.

 Okay. I've hit a wall and spent the last twenty minutes looking around the room hoping something sparks. I'm in a Hunter Thompson mood and, apropos of nothing, someone on Twitter said he was "as right-wing as anyone" when he wasn't on the drugs. How the hell does someone read anything by the guy and figure he was only on the left when he was high? Is it the guns? I bet it's the guns.

 I want to get this out of my system because it's been sitting on my guts all day. Go ahead and buy at least one gun. Doesn't have to be an AR-15 or whatever the pistol equivalent is, but if that's what gets you hard, go for it. I'd recommend a shotgun, for what that's worth. Buy one, learn how to use it properly, learn how to store it properly, and learn how to take care of it properly. Classes are available just about anywhere. The right has gone stone goddamn crazy, the cops are all fascists, and you can't depend on the military for nothing beyond nuking it from orbit.

 Just, for god's sake, learn how to properly use it. I'm pretty sure most shooting ranges offer classes, even though you might have to give money to the NRA. But desperate times call for desperate measures, friends and neighbors, and we are in desperate times. Granted, it may just be the depression talking but the recent madness concerning Critical Race Theory by the Fox humanoids has unnerved me. Depend on yourself and your own. Don't be stupid and start taking it to the grocery store, though.

You bought it, you name it.

  I keep putting off the Hohner harmonica run down, I know, but I'm going to do it again. I don't feel like I could give it the justice it deserves right now. I want to watch that Paul Butterfield documentary, Horn From The Heart, first anyway.

 Anyhow, the News. Monday was a little bit about the G7 and Wednesday was some background on Juneteenth, which was made a federal holiday. We wrapped it up Friday with how the U.S. Council of Bishops are being assholes about Joe Biden's pro-choice stance when no one but them and the worst people on the planet really cares.

 And they are the worst, don't get it twisted. One of Biden's dogs, Champ, died today and they're having a time making jokes about it. Even worse they're comparing it to the death of his son Beau. I've said it before, I've got no particular love for any president, much less Biden. He's doing a decent job but the job is a shitty one that requires shitty actions as often as not. Most of the "good" any president does - from FDR to LBJ - is to keep the lower classes from hoisting the black flag. The Democratic Party is a part of the problem as well.

 But conservatives are something else, boy. Between this and their spittle-flecked fight against what they think is Critical Race Theory, from the insistence of the Big Lie to the outright refusal to do the very least to get ourselves on top of this COVID business, they continue to show just how much they should be ignored. They bring nothing to the table.

 Some asshole ran his car into a Pride Parade, striking two and killing one. Ron DeSantis recently signed a bill that would remove liability for people who drive their cars into protests if they feel it's necessary. This is just the beginning. Same thing with the gun law in Texas, it's just asking for abuse. I know some are thinking that a Pride Parade isn't a protest, but it doesn't really matter. The very existence of LGBT+ people is an existential threat to conservatives.

 I'm in a bad mood. There's no real reason beyond the Grand Ennui. The family had a nice get-together for Baby Jay and I found out why I'm getting bum notes on the Two Draw, and my brother said he and the wife might come out in July via Atlanta. If that's true, I might be able to get him to get me some smoke. So that's something, not such a bad week.

 I've been sitting on this for a half-hour. I need to get in another fifty or so words. I finally got around to trying out the Mount & Blade games I picked up yonks back. I also gave the Hitman reboot a shot and an old-school RPG called Inquisitor that I don't remember getting. I still can't find my way into the Hitman games and Inquisitor is indeed an old-school RPG, in the Sacred mode. Not bad.

 That's just over five hundred words and that's good enough. I'm not sure what I'm doing with the rest of my evening, but it doesn't really matter I guess.

And if you take more of those, you will get an overdose.

  I really don't have anything tonight, but what the hell. I had thought about doing something on the quality of the Hohner harmonicas I've bought recently, but I think I'll wait on that until Saturday. I was waiting on the Big River harp. It came - and it's a pretty decent little harp, for the record - but I have some thoughts I think need to marinate a bit.

 I'm half tempted to give this a miss. I picked up some Actual Paying Work, two more of those dull-as-dirt lawyer pages. I'd meant to just knock out the easy part of both but wound up finishing the whole kaboodle. So, of course, it was 9 a.m. before I finally went down this morning and all day has been a struggle. There's not much to them, but they're so tedious. I'm finishing up the proofreading while I write this, just to prove I can multi-task.

 Okay, that's one down. I could've picked up more, but man, those things are like pulling teeth. Describing suburbs is bad enough, but when I have to figure out different ways to explain why people need lawyers without repeating myself, whew boy. I enjoy having paid work, but man, I wish I could be doing something else.

 Frankly, I wish I could write something else besides the News. I haven't messed with any fiction since the last stuff came to me in a dream. Maybe I should roll with something from Stellar Tactics because I like that setup. I know I've said it multiple times, but I prefer fiction where the protagonist isn't the Chosen One or the Only One Who Can Save Us. It's one of the reasons I like Rincewind from Terry Pratchett's books. He's just a guy caught up in big things and would really rather not be there. Same thing with Arthur Dent, heroes are overrated. Now, back to work.

 All right, that's all I'm fooling with. Maybe more later, but what the hell. I'd decided to get some harmonica repair tools, but an official kit costs anywhere from $120-$350. So, I got some little screwdrivers for glasses and, boom. I was able to fix the Midnight Blue that was dead on Draw 3 and I'm very happy. Also, thanks to this guy, I was able to figure out how to keep from have a dead sound on Draw 2. I'd thought for years I was blowing out harps, but no, it's just persnickety. Ain't that a thing?

 That's a good site, too, by the by. Lots of neat stuff there, so check it out. It's comparable to Jake's site, but there's no end to good harmonica info on the web. I've said it before, but approaching this from the perspective of learning why things sound good when they're used in the proper place is a lot of fun. Learn an instrument, it's the best thing you can do to rewire your head that won't get you arrested.

 I don't know what else. I may come back, but I probably won't. I may call it an early night because I still sort of feel crappy from last night. What a drag it is getting old, indeed.

Back where I come from, where I'll be when it's said and done.

  We got together today to celebrate my cousin's youngest going off to Duke. He's going to play football and track. My family has regular get-togethers. There are 56 of us and, as often as not, most of us make. My brother and his wife, of course, rarely come and the same with another cousin and his wife who lives in California. This is the first time we've gotten together since COVID came to town. It's nice to see them all together and I got to meet the brand-new member of the clan.

  Anyhow. I am sick to death about reading conservative states passing bills banning Critical Race Theory or The 1619 Project, especially since it's obvious they don't know what it is. The guy who pushed the bill in Alabama couldn't explain it and sounded dumber than even someone from Alabama should when pressed. The Mississippi bill failed but it said the country was founded in 1775, which is stupid wrong on so many levels. Y'all, the Declaration of Independence is not a founding document, anyway. Jesus.

 I remember when they got all screwy over Common Core and I'm pretty sure they didn't quite grok that one either. Or Shaira law ten or fifteen years ago, same thing. You go back and read about the Civil Rights area, the same people were claiming that integration was just an attempt to "destroy America." America seems awfully fragile if this is all it takes.

 I'm looking into ways to clean and maintain harmonicas. A full-on kit runs anywhere from $120-$350 when it seems all one would need is a light brush and a sufficiently small screwdriver. I got a dozen or so cloths that come with the harps, so that's taken care of. A lot of folks recommend those repair kits for glasses as they have sufficiently tiny screwdrivers. Daddy had a set of those somewhere but one can pick up a set at Wal-Mart for less than $10.

 I don't know what else. I'm still not free of the whatever-it-is that's been sitting on my head since at least April. I've become obsessed with harmonica music, be it blues, country, jazz, pop, or what have you. With rare exception, it's all I want to listen to. This happens from time to time. Sometimes it's rock & roll or R&B or soul music, and sometimes it's specific eras in one genre, like late '60s/early '70s country music.

 Right now it's harp music. I came across a guy I'd previously never heard of, Kid Thomas. He was sort of like if Little Richard played harmonica rather than piano, that same sort of wild, unhinged passion both vocally and his instrument of choice. If you like that sort of thing, you'll probably like this sort of thing.

 Interesting story, too. Things dried up so he did landscaping between gigs. He accidentally hit a kid with his work truck. From all accounts, it was just one of those things. He was brought up on manslaughter charges but was acquitted. A few months later he was in the courthouse answering a driving without a license charge. Upon leaving the courthouse, he was shot and killed by the kid's dad who'd been hiding in the bushes.

Maybe she just has to sing for the sake of the song.

 I swear, I'm not buying another damn thing from eBay. I finally got the Paul Butterfield book I ordered over a month ago, but at least two harmonicas seem to be lost to the aether. It's irritating because, frankly, you can get better prices on eBay for a lot of stuff but the damn mail is no longer trustworthy.

 There are a lot of pieces on the internet about how the U.S. Postal Service is crumbling, mostly written by conservatives ignoring the ongoing effort by conservatives in Washington to make it do just that. It's more than the 2006 pension law passed by Congress, it's that Congress has crippled its ability to be self-sustaining on a number of levels. Why I don't know, but it really has nothing to do with Amazon, and current Postmaster General Louis DeJoy, by his own admission, is trying to make it worse.

 I honestly don't know if there's a solution or a way to save it, really. It has gotten exponentially worse in recent years, partly due to Trump's spat with Jeff Bezos. Ironically, Amazon's deal with the post office means stuff ordered from them is about the only thing to not get lost or take forever to get to you. Cynical Matt says the post office will be a thing of the past within, say, fifty years. FedEx and UPS - both of which have their own problems apart from price - will probably be your only options unless it's owned by Amazon. Thomas Pynchon had no idea how close he was.

 Anyhow, the News. I've been bad lazy this week, and that reflects in the News. For the most part, I rarely posted anything before 8 p.m. No real excuse, apart from I've been staying up too late playing video games and sleeping through the evening. I still put out some good stuff, though, or at least I think so. Monday and Wednesday were focused on Mississippi, with local elections across the state highlighting the former and the massive amount of rain we got all week for the latter.

 We did some more weather Friday but most of it was focused on the revelation the Trump Administration's Department of Justice was acquiring phone metadata on Democrats looking into Russia's possible intervention in the 2016 election. Of particular note were Adam Schiff and Eric Swalwell, both of whom are Public Enemies for conservatives in general. Bill Barr and Jeff Sessions are implicated in it, though they're denying everything, and Apple pretty much rolled over when the DOJ asked for the data, including stuff on the Congress critters' families.

 For what it's worth, if Trump ever sees any sort of legal repercussions to anything he's done, I figure it'll come from the Attorney Generals of New York State and City. Merrick Garland is blocking the investigation into some of his rape allegations and the whole Russia-Ukraine business got him impeached, but I doubt much will come out of it. People seem to forget the federal government's more interested in covering its own ass than anything else.

 But that all needs to marinate so it's for a later date. GOG.com is having its summer sale, so I decided to pick up a couple of indie games as well as some history. Being a fan of fantasy RPGs since the Ultima days, I've had my eye on Spellforce so I decided to give it a shot. Interesting game, sort of a mix between a classic RPG and community builder. I may go ahead and pick up the sequels since their on sale.

 The other two are the indies. I'd played and enjoyed Judgment: Apocalypse Survival Simulator when it was part of EA's subscription service. However, I'm letting that go and, in any event, it was fairly quickly pulled. It's an after-the-end apocalypse survival simulator where you have to keep a community of survivors alive and thriving. Sort of like Frostpunk, which is highly recommended. The twist is, however, is the apocalypse was caused by or just involves demons. I don't know if it's the Biblical Apocalypse, which I've always considered a great source for fiction. And no, the Left Behind books don't count, mainly because they're crap. More like, say the Dominionist Christian apocalypse happens as they say and the main character is a Buddhist or a Janist or just some poor bastard.

 The other game I bought was Stellar Tactics. It's sort of a Shadowrun-type game based in a galaxy-spanning human society. I don't think there are aliens, but there are augmented humans and mutants. There's also a 2D space simulator that reminds me of Rebel Galaxy in play if not designed. I've only got through the prologue/tutorial, but I'm digging it so far. It's a better-looking Galaxy Squad.

 However, it is still in Early Release and has been so since 2016. It's regularly updated - the last one in March - but I've had bad luck with Early Release games. I'm still put out that Objects In Space was abandoned just after I jumped on board. Let's cross our fingers.

 Finally, I've been watching some late '90s/early Aughts remakes of '50s horror movies, specifically 13 Ghosts and The House On Haunted Hill. They're not as wretched as their reputations would have one believe, but they are a bit of fun. Especially thanks to the gonzo nutball portrayals by Matthew Lillard and Chris Kattan in the two films, respectively. They're good enough to have on in the background while playing video games. I'll probably watch The Haunting Of Hill House remake tonight. That might be a bit trickier, as I love the Shirley Jackson book.

Anyhow. Have a nice weekend.

Programming note

  I picked up some Actual Paying Work tonight. Two pieces at 800 words each with the option to do more articles should I choose. They look to be pretty simple on their own with the only challenge is trying to come up with a different way of saying the same thing, essentially, for both pieces. Sort of like writing about baseball. Or tennis, Christamighty, that was a nightmare.

 And since I am still under whatever load of fat made of depression, fear, and self-loathing that's been sitting on my face and farting for the past couple of weeks, this is probably going today's Gibberish. I know, try to contain your grief. Unless something tries to crawl out of my brain, of course, but I'm not going to hold my breath and neither should you. I am thinking of writing something on the downfall of Hohner harmonicas, though. I have to wait until the Big River I ordered gets here, which should be Monday. The mail's being a shitass, though, so who knows. Still haven't got my Paul Butterfield book.

I knew I lost the light and was moving through the night, running from the grand ennui.

  Man, I'm stressed out. Otis isn't helping. Every evening after supper, we spend about two hours trying to keep him from digging up the carpet or tearing up whatever he can. He wants to go back out for a walk even though it's dark. I don't think he understands that, so he cries and fusses until he falls asleep. It's irritating as hell.

 I don't why I'm stressed out. It's definitely related to the bad case of the blues I've had lately. We're in the middle of a week's worth of storms and rain, and I shut it down today. I've been doing that a lot lately, even on days following a better-than-average night's sleep. It's not that I'm not getting enough rest, it's that the world bores me and I run out of things to occupy my brain. So it's better to sleep than letting my mind wander into generally dark places.

 I'm tired of being here, man. I've got nothing to look forward to and the only thing I can think of that's keeping me on this planet is not wanting to do that to Momma. I'm tired. I'm bored. I'm defeated. I find myself outright lying to my Psych Doc and Therapist just so they leave me alone.

 This is like pulling teeth, man. I thought about doing this in the morning but thought maybe I'd be in a better frame of mind. Turns out I'm just lazier. I could volunteer for some Actual Paying Work but, frankly, my heart's just not into it.

 What is my place in this world? That's a strange question for a nihilist to ask, I guess. There's no point or reason to existence beyond what we make, and I have no problem with that. People find their niches, to play on the old cliche, and it doesn't mean a career or artistic pursuit or anything like that. I truly believe my brother's found his niche as a husband to his wife. She's had a bad run of luck and needs someone to support her. Same thing with many of my friends and their marriages/relationships.

 It took me a long time to accept that, I admit, but I still don't think it was ever in the cards for me. I just can't figure out what it should be. I don't think it's this, not really. I don't know if I missed my time or how it works, but there is no point or need for what I'm doing here or The News. It's been done and done and done, but I really don't know of anything else I can do.

 I've put it down here before, but I never thought I was a legit writer. It was just the first thing I did that someone told me I did well. This and trivia, and apart from Jeaprody there's no way to make a living knowing random shit. I definitely never thought of myself as a reporter, not really, nor did I ever really want to be one.

 But here I am, at 46 and still no idea what to do with myself. I know being in my brother's place isn't in the cards, but I'm admittedly surprised he's in it himself. It's not something to hang my hat on, though. I don't know, man. It just seems like a huge waste of time, all of it. One day after another.

It's too late, she's gone.

  Well, I did it again. It's now 1 a.m. or so Sunday morning, which means I let Saturday's Gibberish slip past me. I wonder if I can honestly say I've not missed a day after doing this a half-a-dozen times. Probably not, but what the hell. Again, no one is paying me.

 Good week for the News, though, despite my general disinclination to deal with reality. Solid stuff all around, though. We looked at the shenanigans going on in the Texas legislature and what they bode for the rest of the country Monday, plus a glimpse into the hundredth anniversary of the Tulsa Race Riots. Wednesday was a look at the possible ouster of Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and what, if anything, that might mean for the U.S. Finally, Friday saw us looking at the recently released emails of Dr. Anthony Fauci and how wet it's making Republicans in general. Poor dears. There's so little joy in the average right-winger's life it's nice they get a nothing burger to chew on from time to time.

 The ennui that's been in my pants all week took a hold today and I spent most of it napping, reading, & ignoring the world. It rained off and on, so it was as good a day as any to do such. I'm still working on The Network of Time and I've bought a couple of those Dummies Guides for harmonica, one general and one focused on blues. I figured it was best to cover my options.

 Along with the guitar, I'm putting effort into learning just how to put together a good riff or solo rather than blowing random notes and hoping it sounds good. It did more often than not, but it's still neat to do it properly even if I won't be playing with anyone any time soon. My brother points out learning how music actually works rewires your brain. Seeing as how there's no telling when it'll be until I can get my head bad again, it'll do I suppose.

 Still working on Dragon Age II and I've made it to the second act. I'm interested in seeing where it goes but I really need to head back to Mass Effect before I completely lose groove on that. I've got a number of games on deck but I'm really not interested in anything else right now.

 What else? I still haven't got the harmonica I ordered two months ago and the Paul Butterfield book is is going on a week late. The tracker says it left Memphis this morning, so maybe I should see it come Monday. I've about had it with eBay, but I'm not blaming the sellers. This is a direct result of Louis DeJoy's role in screwing with the mail and the Republicans' ongoing attempts to destroy probably the best government agency in history. This isn't just my paranoia, they've pretty much admitted it.

 The sad thing is Amazon is about the only company that has enough swing to make the mail work for them. It's ironic given how much Trump hates Jeff Bezos. Living out in the boonies, Amazon is about the only outlet we have to order anything that can't be found at the local Wal-Mart, and, frankly, that's most things. Ordering directly from the vendor? Sorry, the mail's slowed down to a crawl and it'll be twice as long getting to you if it gets to you at all.

 Ah, but that's definitely a first-world problem. Amazon is evil but it doesn't have to be. The mail is a mess and is probably on its last legs, but it doesn't have to be. People keep wanting to blame Big Tech or Late-Stage Capitalism or Government, but we have the ability to let this happen or not.

 Question is, will we?

Better late than never, I guess.

 It's past midnight and I forgot to write anything. I mean, I thought of this earlier in the day but I figured I'd knock something out after supper. I got to playing Dragon Age II and let time slip away from me.

 I understand why people knock on this game, particularly compared to Dragon Age: Origins and Dragon Age: Inquisition. It's nothing new, gameplay-wise, and it's probably a step-down. It's certainly streamlined from what DA:O had for you. And the story's a bit rambling compared to DA:O, I get that.

 But I like it. For one, I like the setting. Some people gave it shit for being in just one city and a few outdoor spots, but the city has some depth to it, and being able to switch between night and day gives it more variety. On a night mission in Lowtown and need to buy some potions? Well, too damn bad. Hopefully, you can get something off all those thugs that keep attacking you.

 And I like the story. Political intrigue that you're not the center of but get swept up in anyway. Very noir, very Phillip Chandler. It's still the traditional mages-elves-dwarves setting but with a somewhat different take on things, very much like Terry Pratchett's Discworld but not quite as silly. There's some humor in it, though, and some Pterry call-outs. I just found something called "the last decent helmet" and I thought that was funny.

 As for the main character, well, I like Hawke, too. You don't have much to choose from, just their gender and their class, but they're a neat enough character. Just someone trying to do the best for their family in a bad situation as the world explodes around them. I play a male rouge Hawke who's a decent guy and loyal to his people but a bit of a smart ass and laser-focused on his goal, come what may.

 I'm pretty sure I've said this before, but the whole "the Chosen One" shtick in fantasy games grates/ The Dragon Age games don't have that. You're playing the world rather than just a character. The interactions are enjoyable, too. Not all the companions like each other, which is nothing new, but some outright loathe each other. I haven't had to dump one for another yet - something that's stymied me in Pillars Of Eternity II: Deadfire - but from what I know, it seems that will be impossible in this game.

 Hey, sue me. My characters are always heroes and nice guys and want people to get along. That's a hard enough line to walk in the real world. I don't really romance in games for the same reasons I don't romance in real life. I could've romanced everyone available to a male human in DA:O. I've got nothing against romanceable characters in games, I just don't care for them. That you can't dodge that in Baldur's Gate II without being a dickbag to someone. best I can talk and that's a mark against the game's story for me. But I'm just a cynical bastard with no romance in his soul, which should come as a shock to no one.

 Speaking of that, I need to get something out of my head. Twice in my adult life have I offered my heart and soul to someone and would've followed to the ends of the Earth. Both times it was rejected by someone who did care enough about me to have a physical relationship and try to maintain a friendship. So this isn't just me creeping on women. Both times I was told by people outside the issue that it wasn't what I thought it was and, thus, should be no big deal.

 Everyone else has been a friend and sometimes with benefits and when those benefits ended if we could stay friends, great. If not, oh well, that's how it goes. Had I more game or were better looking, I would've been hell back when I was on the hunt. And most of the women I've been involved with went after me because, as a general rule, I could care less. I just want to have a good time and wander through the world, and no one's been able/willing/interested in changing my ways.

 Maybe that's why I don't mess with romances in video games. I hate when it seems you're being herded into just for being a decent guy/girl/whatever you're playing. I wonder if that has something to do with the screwy way some kids seem to approach romantic relationships. But that's enough of all that. I need to get back to Thedas, y'all.

Just another pain. Really, it hurts so bad.

  Welcome to the first of June. I don't know what to tell you.

 This is going to be one of those off-the-top-of-my-head things because I really don't have anything to run with. I talked with my Therapist today but all we really talked about was how bad the medical marijuana thing pissed me off. I've got that off my chest, I think.

 I did get around to beating Dragon Age: Origins, though. I've had it for about five years but it definitely needs dedication. I'm not the type of guy to put that much into a game that isn't called Ultima. I still haven't finished XCOM 2 or Pathfinder: Kingmaker, even though they have just as much replayability as Dragon Age. I've started on Dragon Age II, though I probably need to get back to Mass Effect and knock that out.

 Thrilling stuff, I know. I've hit a brick wall because, beyond the Dragon Age news, nothing's really changed all that much. Still working on The Network of Time and that's about it for now. I got me a cooling pad for my laptop, and the hits just keep coming.

I'm tired of talking about how badly the Babbitts are using the concept of Critical Race Theory. It's just so tedious, the dishonesty and proud ignorance. I saw someone saying it's all a scheme by white supremacists. What group of white supremacists they don't define, but I imagine they mean either Antifa, BLM, or the Democratic National Convention.

 It does strike me as funny that conservatives are convinced that if the whining brats at the Great American Temper Tantrum should be an albatross around the GOP's neck, the same should go for the Democrats and Antifa and/or BLM. They also keep making a big deal about how Democrats on the national level want to "defund the police." Frankly, it's like how they see socialism as the end-all and be-all of liberal thought in America.

 That's why I say conservatives aren't worth paying attention more than is necessary nor are they worthy of debate. Their ideas aren't just wrong, they're malformed and based on nonsense. It's like when they insist places like Portland or Kenosha are burnt-out, desolate holes ruled by people dressed like they're in a poorly made Italian post-apocalypse movie. Probably one starring Michael Sopkiw.

 Man, this is like pulling teeth and I know I've already used this but it remains. I don't have the blues like I did the last couple of weeks but I still don't have much to say about anything. The News is going pretty good, which is nice. The shit the Texas GOP is trying to pull is just amazing. Greg Abbott is threatening to call a special session, which is just goddamn hilarious. He wouldn't call one to deal with school shootings or the state losing power back in February, but making it harder to vote lights a fire under his ass.

 Anyhow, I just need to get a few more words in to reach word count. Listen to Little Walter and Michael Nesmith, enjoy June, and don't forget the sunscreen.