I knew I'd lost the light and I was moving through the night, running from the grand ennui.

  Man, yesterday was tedious. Exhausting. Luckily today was cold, wet, and miserable, and since I had nothing to do, I did just that. I'm somewhat calm down but I won't lie about it, yesterday got me extremely wound up. Took me one of the Klonopin the Psych Doc prescribed and it put me down.

 On a side note, I've never been a pill guy. Weed, naturally. Psychedelics, any day. That's about as far as I go. Being speedy never appealed to me anyway, so I've never messed around with coke or meth or anything like that. I unknowingly smoked a joint once that had been laced with meth and it was awful. But god's truth, yesterday was my first experience with opioids of any kind and, frankly, I don't recommend them. It's that sludgy, underwater feeling like overindulging on vaped weed. I don't care for it because it brought my brain to a screeching halt. Half, hell, most of the reason I like pot is it kicks my brain in gear.

 The other reason is that it soothes my nerves and that would've come in handy. The actual storming of the Capitol was bad enough but watching wingnuts try to juke the narrative was irritating. It was Antifa infiltration or they were pushed to do it because Democrats dared disagree with Father Trump. I really don't get that. For the past four years, they've been outright threatening civil war if Trump didn't win re-election. For the past two months, they've been screaming that if the election results were overturned because they say so, they'd have no other option but bloody revolution.

 But when they finally kick off the Second War for Independence & Trump, they want to point fingers at everyone but themselves. Astounding. Even dumber is how many of these yay-hoos made selfies of them jerking off in a Congress member chair or ripping down pictures of that RINO, Abraham Lincoln. Not the sharpest knives in the drawer, no.

 Interestingly, it seems everyone but the Most Faithful are running from Trump like he's been sprayed by a skunk. It started with Melania's chief of staff and, so far, we're at Betsy DeVos putting in her resignation. I figured she was ride-or-die especially after the solid he did for her brother week before last. Lindsay Graham turned on him and actual Republican congressmen are suggesting he be either impeached or at least have Amendment 25 laid on him.

 Some are sticking with him, though, and it's rarely a surprise who. Ted Cruz for one, but he's a worse suckfish than Graham. Soon as someone else becomes the Big Dog in the GOP, he'll latch on to them. He thinks it should be him, of course, but no one likes Ted Cruz. And Josh Hawley's dumbass, well. Simon & Schuster dropped his book deal so he's crying about the woke mob, but the sad and sorry fact is that boy's too damn stupid for his ambitions and has all the charisma of a bucket of white paint.

 He's still got Newsmax and OAN on his side while FOX News just goes back to blaming liberals for everything from the breakdown of society to their aunt's gout. And there's the whole cop thing - how badly they bungled the riot or perhaps aided and abetted it - that needs to be unpacked.

 Someone else can do it, though, because I am done with them. They've been telling us what they are for four years and yesterday they showed us. It was like when people riot when their team wins whatever championship, just revelry in destruction because you don't have to clean up the mess.

 They're not worth taking seriously or working with or trying to mend fences. They see me as an enemy? Very well, then I'm their enemy. I can live with that.

 Okay for that, then. I've got a doctor's appointment tomorrow. Trump made a video where he promised a peaceful transfer but he didn't concede nor do I think he will. The MAGA faithful isn't budging in their sense of righteous nor do I think they will. I don't know how or what the end result will be, but the Game is forevermore changed.

 Might as well have some fun, right?

Must be the season of the witch.

 Well, y'all, I don't know what to tell you. It was just one of those days, I guess. I just wasn't feeling it.

 Woke up, had breakfast, glimpsed at the news, shut off the news in disgust and dispirit, read for a while, and then took a nap. Apart from breakfast rinse, lather, and repeat for the rest of the day. Read some of Flann O'Brien's The Third Policeman and a little of Kim Stanley Robinson's Red Mars. Of course, there was a bit of Hunter Thompson, because it's not only that time of year, we find ourselves in the midst of the same societal insanity where the Good Doctor always shined the brightest.

 Yes, indeed. I simply could not deal with the harsh and ugly realities of Life in America in this, the 2020th Foul Year of Our Lord. We're being ravaged by an epidemic the likes the world has never seen, we have miles to go before it gets even close to "better," over 120,000 in this country alone have died (and we make up one-fifths of the world's number, and there are still far too many of us, some with two much unearned authority, who're running under the flag that it's all overblown if not an outright hoax.

 And the hoax is to save a toad of a man who, if nothing else, has brought back being an absolutely shitty human being back to the American Game. Not just to opponents, but to the people they're supposed to be representing. That loopy gun-toting lady in Colorado who won a U.S. Representative nomination for (of course) the Republican Party first crossed my radar by calling people who disagreed with her "sheeple" and "triggered snowflakes". 

 I've said it before, but I don't know if here: if you use the word "triggered" as a pejorative, you are an awful human being and God's mercy on your soul, you rotten swine. I've seen people "triggered" and it's horrifying. You dick.

 But that's where we are. We are in Mean Times, y'all, when gun sales are through the roof. You can pretend it's one side or the other, but the rise in sales and accompanying education on how to end someone's life with said gun is fairly equally spread across the ideological spectrum. Dark Times are on the way, I feel. I hope I'm wrong, but I think we'll see blood in the streets before my days are done.

 The President, the slimy glob he is, has compared the "radical left" - i.e., anyone who disagrees with him - to the Nazis of World War II. He did this on Independence Day. "Celebrating America," apparently. This is the New Thing, I guess, along with his sudden obsession with statues honoring Confederate generals that we erected at least 50 years after the war specifically to tell Black people to suck it.

 Because that's what's important. Not the forty-plus million out of work and against the wall because the landlords aren't having the same problem. Not the companies that insist their labor come back and make them their capital without providing even the most basic healthcare protection or even a security net to help out the very people that make them rich, because fuck you, plebe, that's why. Daddy needs another winter home, so get back to work and, hell no, you're not getting a livable wage.

 And that right there? That's going to get worse before it gets better. We are an Angry Country right now. People are angry that cops keep killing Black people for just walking down the street. There are people furious that the first group of people dare criticize the Thin Blue Line, especially for killing Black people. People are angry because some people have high-powered weaponry and don't come off as stable enough to own such. Those people are angry at the people who doubt them and, unfortunately, are far too often doubted by people who also own high-powered weaponry while at the same time being stable and careful enough to handle them properly.

 Is it all going to pop like a zit or just ooze away like a... zit, I guess. I don't know. Maybe, maybe not. Maybe Joe Biden is right and once Trump gets the old heave-ho we'll return back to whatever "normal" is. At least until we put another unqualified dingbat into office and they start getting delusions of authority, and it'll happen because we won't do enough to address the inequities of life in this society.

 Happy Independence Day. I'm going to be honest. I live out in the boonies. I'm self-employed and can work from home. Unless something drastic happens, I'm financially stable for at least the next 30 years and I doubt I'll be around that whole time. I can hang in, keep my head down, and eventually grow some pot out in the backyard for personal consumption.

 It's you poor bastards I feel sorry for.