100 years of the blues.

  I tell you what, I am sick and tired of being in such a bad mood all the time. It's getting harder and harder to put up with anything and everything either gets on my nerves or depresses the hell out of me. My damn sciatic nerve is acting up, too, just to make things that much more pleasant.

 Otis wants to go outside. What he does is go around to the other side of the garage, look around for a bit, and want to come back in. We've done that like four times this evening. If I don't take him out when he wants to go out, he looks for something to rip up, either the carpet or just whatever he can get his mouth around. And then has the audacity of looking like I'm whipping him when I pull him away. He doesn't even need me, that's the real pisser. It's tiresome because if he's awake that's all he wants to do, walk around the garage and then come back inside. One of the reasons I stay up all night is both he and Momma are asleep so I can get some peace and quiet. 

 Ah well. That's life and it'll all end soon enough, I suppose. Okay, then, the News. Pretty decent week, if nothing special. We kept up with Elsa, the Delta Variant, and the condo collapse in Miami. It's been kind of a depressing week, what with the Pacific Northwest burning up and New York City being flooded. I did some writing about music at the Tumblr place, too, so check it out.

 I don't know what else beyond I just don't have it in me to do this tonight. I'm tempted to go ahead and shut it down, maybe come back to it after a nap. I never get enough sleep and I'm drowsy all the time. In any event, it's going to sit here for a while until I come up with something.

LATER: Nope, napping didn't help a thing. Still pissed off and still dull in the brain. There's plenty going on. There's that teacher in Tennessee who got fired for teaching what some people think Critical Race Theory is. There's booger-eating white supremacist Nick Fuentes booting from Twitter and subsequent clown show at CPAC. There's CPAC, which just gets nuttier and nuttier each year. There's flatlander fraud J.D. Vance shit-talking New York City like anyone believes a thing he says. He's going to get stomped into a mudhole in the primary. You'd almost feel bad for him if he weren't such a transparent douchebag.

 But I don't feel like writing about that shit. Maybe I'll be more inclined to face the foul realities of life in these United States tomorrow. I've done pretty well this week with previous Gibberish. Jumping thoughts, I'm currently - as in, as I write this - watching Lucio Fulci's The Beyond. It takes place in Louisiana and features a haunted hotel's basement. If you don't know why that's funny, I can't help you. For what it's worth, it's very much a "style over substance" movie with not much plot to get in the way of the story.

 I guess that's plenty. I'm up for another hour, at least, so maybe something interesting will pop out. Of course, we know how that goes.

I know that you know that I'm wrong.

  Much like this weekend, I'm writing this around 11 p.m. because I really don't have much going on in my head. I stayed up too late writing and reading last night, so I wound up sleeping most of the day. Maybe I should count what I wrote last night because technically I wrote it today.

 I didn't wind up saving it, though, and it was less coherent than the fiction sketches I've been doing. Granted, I haven't been messing with them much lately. Waiting for another spurt of creativity, I guess. No, last night was basically jumped up Twitter posts but ones not even worth posting so there's that there then.

 But it is writing and it is the mechanical process and I guess that's what is really important, right? Write even though it doesn't make sense or it isn't going anywhere? Of course, now Otis is acting like a little shit and I have to watch he doesn't destroy something having his little fit for whatever the reason he has his those fits. I wonder if he wants treats. Let's try that.

 Well, that seems to have calmed him down some. He's at least stopped trying to climb the bookshelf, though he's still shivering and whining. The down mood I was in this weekend is still around, with a touch of irritation. I wish for the life of me I could figure out what his hang-up is. He doesn't want to play or eat or go outside, the only constant is I have to be around. For the longest time, he was mad at me for leaving him while on the Big Trip, but that seems to be gone. He seems to have adjusted well enough to our new life and, for the most part, it seems he prefers it over life in New Orleans.

 Anyhow. Hey, I finally caught some decent movies on Tubi. One was called Demon Squad. A very low-budget affair with some dodgy action, it was sort of a supernatural noirish take with demons and magic relics. Sort of like Cast A Deadly Spell or a better version of the Alone In The Dark adaptation, perhaps the tv adaptation of the Jim Butcher books. There was some good make-up work and lead Khristin Fulmer did a solid job in the role of swaggering, smart-ass private dick Nick Moon. It was low budget but they made the most of what they had. Recommendation.

 The other was perhaps better with a higher budget. It was called I Had A Bloody Good Time At House Harker. I'm wary of indie-made horror comedies with long titles, but this was pretty good. Long story short, the descendants of Jonathan and Mina Harker deal with scorn, poverty, and the return of vampires. Again, they did pretty good work with their budget and there were parts that were actually funny. There's nothing worse, I mean nothing worse than a comedy that is not funny. This gets a Recommendation, too, so check both out if you have a couple hours to kill.

 Hey, that's word count. Nothing was said, of course, but it's the journey not the arrival, right? I hope so.

Saturday, February 1, 2020

 Sometimes I think part of my sleeping problems, or the current iteration thereof, is that one of the reasons I rarely get more than two or three hours a time, is I'm remembering my dreams again. Read somewhere that heavy marijuana use is inability to remember dreams. I am here to report that, yes, all that fits in.

Friday, January 24, 2020

 Another day in a row I got no drive a'tall, and thus, don't really feel like doing this. I will, though, because I need to keep doing it. For some reason, even just to have something to tell myself I need to do.

Thursday, January 23, 2020

 Momma bought her a Jamey Johnson CD, The Dollar, from Amazon, so she gets the MP3's along with the physical CD. I have Amazon Prime Music Unlimited so she's playing her new album as well as discovering the 300-plus Gigs worth of music I have on there. That should keep her occupied for a few days.

 She's also in a really good mood with lots of energy. See, Momma's 70, has had torn ACL in both knees, had one kneecap replaced and is overweight. In the last couple of days she's been going to the gym at ICC, and after a long, long time of trying to find one that's right for her - particularly here in Northeast Mississippi - she's hit pay dirt with this one. She says she's got so much energy she's worried what's going to happen, because that's how her mind works.

 I tell her enjoy it because I feel like someone sucked the life right out of me. I don't know if it's the front that's moved - it's rained like pouring piss out of a boot all day - or because I've been out of lithium since Monday. It's been refilled, so hopefully that'll whack me out of this mood. Granted, this is just another fluctuation in the sour frame of mind I've been in since the first of the year. Might just be the Brand New Year Blues, I don't know.

 Part of it is frustration with this. I've been pounding away at this gibberish for six months plus, now, and it's still pretty much the same gibberish it was when I started. I am still enjoying myself but one thing that's bugged me for years is a lack of purpose, a lack of direction for my existence, and frankly, I'm not finding one here. Fun is fun, sure, but maybe I've spent too much time having fun. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm perfectly fine with leaving no footprint on the sands of time, and a hard look around makes me glad I'm not leaving anything behind when I leave.

 Ah, well. Dark thoughts and foul moods. My cynicism is getting the best of me and I'm finding myself with less patience with the rest of the world. Twitter gives too many people with too little to say too much of a platform, and our only recourse is to be that much more vapid and unoriginal. It's all performative and glamour without actual substance, it feels like. Which is, of course, arrogant as hell of me. Where do I get off passing judgement on everyone else's plasticity when I've got nothing going on inside.

 Anyhow. The third day of Impeachment is in swing, and it seems the GOP strategy is to not pay any attention through the actual trial while expressing outrage that anyone would dare question that Prince of Men, Donald Trump. The Democrats are providing a good case and there's still something like six Republican Senators on the bubble, but when the rubber hits the road, they're doing what they're told.

 Again, the GOP spent the past 30 years getting the base in the mood to attach themselves to a charismatic authoritarian who'd threaten "enemies", be they foreign countries or the U.S. press or even just people who didn't vote for him. What they didn't expect, though, is Trump's ascendancy, someone who'd take that spot with none of the subtlety or skill that American politics requires. Reagan, Nixon, either Bushes would've gotten away with something similar if all they cared about was pleasing The Base. That's all Trump cares about, though, because The Base feeds his ego and they would be perfectly happy if the last thing all of his "enemies" saw the barrel of a gun.

 I don't know. I'm just in a mood. Here's another link to the Willie Nash petition and another example of how half-ass Mississippi runs its prisons. Again, though, the average Mississippian is fine with this, because the cruelty is the point. We're a very Puritan/Hobbsian nation and especially state sometimes. I am about a third of the way through Pillars of Eternity II and spent most of my waking moments today reading Jorge Luis Borges short stories while listening to Johann Sebastian Bach while it rained all day.

 Let's be honest, if nothing else, that's not a bad way to spend the day.

Tuesday, January 21, 2020

 Still out of it and disinclined to get back into it. This is the fifth or maybe sixth day in a row for this sort of mood. In the same state, I'm not really into doing this, either, but we do have our pride.

Monday, January 20, 2020

 Really not up for, well... anything today. We are in the grip of some Serious Dumb, friends and neighbors, and despite the bright, shining sun, I am not optimistic about our chances for smartening up anytime soon. Regardless, Work is Work, we'll knock this out quick and go back into hiding.

Tuesday, December 10, 2019

 Another nasty day, nastiest one we've seen in a while. The temperature's stayed in the 30s and we've seen rain, sleet and even a little snow. Nothing's sticking here, but some places in the Viewing Area saw a nice little blanketing. On the upside it'll be cleared out, for the most part, tomorrow and will be somewhat warmer.

Thursday, October 17, 2019

 I pretty much checked out today. Just couldn't deal with the rest of the world. All I've done interesting I talked about yesterday and, right now, I don't care to dig into the News. So... yeah.

Friday, October 11, 2019

 I should go ahead and get this knocked out, I suppose. Less enthusiasm and more obligation, but I'm the one who made this bed.

Thursday, October 10, 2019

 The weather's still cool and thunderstorms threaten on the horizon. I'm half tempted to drive down to New Orleans once the rain moves out. Early Fall is the best time to be in New Orleans. The city shines then.

Saturday, October 5, 2019

 I'm going to keep this short. Sort of checked out all day.