I would look up a synonym for "apathy", but why bother?

 More serious navel-gazing nonsense. Warned.

  When I try to study on the whole question of what's "wrong" with me, the problem is it isn't just one single, significant source.  That would be easier to tackle than a lot of little stumbles and sharp objects, which is what I'm dealing with now. For instance. I'm still getting over the realization I made a few years back that no matter how cunningly I craft my arguments, how airtight my logic, and how well-researched my facts, there are just some folks who are never going to listen.



 Of course, that doesn't mean stops trying. On the contrary, that's all the more reason to dot one's i's and cross one's t's.  And a lot of people do listen and do think about what the other person is trying to say and tries to consider and absorb this new information, and of course everyone has blind spots and irrationalities. One hopes it gets easier to parse out the differences, though many of the worst give you fair warning. Hell, it's why I've quit trying to debate conservatives and religiously and/or spiritually minded folk.

 I know that's not a good thing, but there it is. Now, don't misunderstand me. While in the occasional foul mood, I will get shirty with someone on someone else's Facebook feed for a couple of hours, or I'll screw with the loudmouth at work over some bit of history he's undeniably and with totality of confidence misunderstanding completely. That's not a good thing either, I know.

 Still, one should be open to other thoughts and ideas, but for me - and for right now - the Status Quo as represented by Modern American Conservative Thought on politics, society, religion, etc., just doesn't bring anything useful to my particular table. I don't think religion has a place in government. I don't agree with the concept of "limited government". I don't agree that the government on any level has a right to tell a woman what she can't do with her uterus nor does it have the right to tell me what sort of naturally occurring herb I can or cannot ingest. I don't think "making a lot of money" means, take your pick, "successful," "intelligent" or "moral". I don't think taxes are a net evil. I don't think life should suck just because someone's poor. I don't see any point in having more money than you could spend even if you spent obnoxious amounts of money on a regular basis on perfectly useless things like umbrella stands made out of elephant's legs or diamonds.

 But that's my problem. I would say that, in the interest of fairness, I run into this same problem on the left, but I rarely seem to. Then again, it's really not the same problem, as we're all dealing with the same paradigm. Most arguments I'd have with folks on the left tend to be ones of ideological purity, and fuck that noise. I won't lie, I try to avoid arguments and debates these days. It just wears me out, which is sad because I used to enjoy it so. 'Course, I was an asshole back then, so there are things to consider.

 In any event, one backs up one's research, applies logic, and brushes up on rhetoric because it keeps one sharp. Everything else is lagniappe.