'Til honky becomes tonky again.

  I went to the gym yesterday for the first time since the Big Freeze happened. Today I feel like someone beat me, and I really didn't do all that much. That probably says something I am desperately trying to ignore.

 The weather was bright and sunny with temperatures that got close to or passed 70. It's a nice change from last week's gloom. This part of Mississippi has a special charm as the Spring happens, nature-wise, and I'd forgotten how much my soul needed it. Don't get me wrong, every place I've lived is pleasantly remembered but, for good or ill, this is home.

 I haven't been able to shake off the slush from last week, though. For example, it's almost a solid hour since I wrote that last paragraph. Granted, supper was part of the reason for the delay but nothing's beating down the door. For another example, it's been thirty minutes since I wrote that last sentence.

 We've got News tomorrow and while there's plenty going on - Biden's nominations and GOP shenanigans, growing frustration with Biden and Congress dragging their feet on the COVID stimulus, the fork in the road the GOP will have to face over Trump, Mississippi's dumb ass trying to cut tax revenue for no one's benefit - but I'd rather leave that. I've noticed, and I may've said this already, my Twitter time has been cut since the Biden Inauguration, at least. I think it's given me a somewhat clearer perception of the news from a journalistic sense. It's not being cluttered by the rest of the world's smokin' hot takes or petty nonsense.

 I got my iTunes situation all squared away. If nothing else, it got me to streamline things. Again, best money ever spent and I don't mind the monthly fee. I've been looking for something like this all my life. Man, I can still see the first paragraph from when I started. This is like pulling teeth today.

  I just got Outward thanks to this month's Humble Bundle. I've been looking forward to it. Apparently, it's an RPG that tries to keep things as "real" as possible. No save scumming, I guess like Dragon's Dogma, and food and sleep management like Fallout: New Vegas on hardcore mode. It's been compared to Dark Souls, which I don't know quite how to take. I have the second and third, again thanks to Humble Bundle, but I've never been able to get too far in either before giving up in frustration. Yes, I know, "git gud," now fuck off.

 Christ, I need to get this computer looked at. This drag is driving me nuts. Man, I just have no drive or energy whatsoever. I reckon I need to do something about that. I can't think what, though, as I'm already doing everything I want to do apart from the occasional magic carpet ride, of course. At least the weather's getting warmer and I can spend more time outside, I guess.

 As Americans, we all complicit - at least somewhat, even if it's minute - in the evils the country has done and still does in our name. From drone attacks to child separations to sweatshop labor to white supremacy, we all carry a little of the responsibility even if we had nothing to do with it. Especially if we've had nothing to do with it. We all benefit from it, in one way or another, and none of us are willing to go the distance truly needed to effect permanent, lasting, and significant change.

 That we refuse to admit this, even those of us who see clearly the evils done under the aegis of the Stars & Stripes means we'll never move past it, much less stop it. We'll never wash the blood from our hands. That we continue to ignore this or pretend it isn't our responsibility because of who we did or didn't vote for while we argue how it should be different just shows how little we actually care. I don't say this to make anyone feel bad or guilty, I'm just saying this is how it is and why it'll stay like this. We don't care enough to take responsibility for ourselves. It's always someone else's fault.

 Yeah, I just looked at Twitter. The fact that we don't even bother to learn about what we're condemning just makes me tired, man. I am so glad I checked out from honest society. Just need to hang around and keep myself busy for a little while longer and then y'all can have all of it.