Monday, June 17, 2019

 Momma called this morning while I was still asleep. She's staying another day to drive her cousin home 'cause it's on the way. So, I've another day to myself. Hot damn. Might make that pizza tonight, might not.

 I must admit the obvious, though. Splendid Isolation kicks ass. The last time I was in this good a mood was the last month I spent in my place in Jefferson. I like being alone. I prefer having minimal to no human contact if at all possible. I have no interest in sex anymore, so any sort of romantic contact simply does not appeal. I prefer to be alone, if just so I don't bother anyone else.

 This is not exactly healthy, though, I'm thinking. Whenever I get the chance to talk to someone worth talking to, I babble like a madman out in the noonday sun. Furthermore, I don't have any interest in interacting with the rest of society, I have nothing invested in the future, & any ideology I espouse or policy I champion it's because I've decided to do otherwise is being a shit ass.

 Now, my therapist will ask, "Why isn't it a good thing?" And I'll say, "I can't put my finger on it, I just know it feels off." Well, that's what therapists are good for, making me ask or even be aware of that question. In any event, it's not a workable situation currently & I don't know really how I'd get from here to there.

 I'd definitely leave the South, though. I don't think it's irredeemable, per say, but I don't think I'm the guy to pull it off. But this shit is just ridiculous. Like the absolute worst-case scenarios dreamt up by the wackiest moonbat happens almost immediately, & the universe doesn't just reset itself out of shame.

 Probably somewhere in northern California or south Oregon, or somewhere out in New Mexico, I liked those places & weed's legal. I'd be one of those guys in a trailer way off the road. Those places have lousy WiFi, though, I'm told, & out here in straight Mississippi, it's bad enough but at least it exists.