Wednesday, July 24, 2019

Wednesday, July 24, 2019

 Today was another day of painful sleep. I don't know why. I got about five hours last night & that infernal machine lasted at least three. But when I woke up, I felt like someone beat me. Plus, I was still asleep, more or less, not tired, but that dragged, drugged almost otherworldly loopiness one has when one hasn't awoken property. Plus, a lot of that aching pain, not really like a physical beating or even the soreness from any amount of exertion. It was more of a... stinging pain? Is that it? Not really, but it's closer.

 And it lasted all day. I crashed after breakfast, woke up about noon & I still hurt. When I woke again around 4 p.m., I still hurt. This is at least the second time this has happened & I'm thinking at least two more times were similar. I don't know if it's a new kink in the sleep apnea or dysthymia or if it's more my body telling me if I don't start being more active, there's just going to be more pain. It could be something entirely new or an aspect of the esophagus trouble I know is coming.

 Middle age is a bummer, kids.

 So, I pretty much zombied my way through today. The weather's still unseasonably cool - it's never got above 80 & there kept a breeze - so it was pleasant enough to snooze through. Started the Wellbutrin today. I was told to take it at morning-time because otherwise it'd wreck my already wrecked sleeping, but I got to say, I ain't feeling a thing. Maybe it needs to build up. Speaking of pharmacology, I'm a little disappointed with this round of Lithium. It's not having the same kick as it did the previous two times.

 Anyhow, enough of all that.